WHY I HAVEN'T GOT A GIRLFRIEND...STILL

‘Do you already have a girlfriend?’

Ah…the classic question.  If I answered it honestly, it would be followed by:

‘Why?  Aren’t you missing something in your life?’

To be frank, I’m already 22 years on the surface of this planet and yet, I haven’t got a single girlfriend.  Not even once.  And I sure get irritated when confronted by that question.  No, not because of my ‘pathetic’ situation, but because of your pathetic way of thinking.  I’m honest with you.

Okay, go ahead and laugh.

So what?

Yes, that’s my response to your reaction.  But I can’t blame you.  After all, a healthy 22 year-old guy couldn’t live through his life without a girlfriend!  Well, if that’s what you believe, then I’m not in a position to contest that mind of yours.

But if you’re interested in a little bit of history, err…no, story, you could continue on reading my journal.  It’s a little story about myself.

It would be ridiculous if I tell you I don’t have crushes…unless, I’m a proud member of the third kind (which I would refute.  I’M A HEALTHY HETEROSEXUAL MALE, don’t ask about it later on!)  As far as I can remember, since my first grade in elementary up to second year in college, I have at least one girl that I admired.  For romance, I have two—one in high school and one in college, though the one from my high school years still linger (ouch, it hurts!) on my heart.

What turned me into a ‘pitiful’ virgin?

First thing, my bitterness.  Yeah, I admit I’m still suffering from the after-effects of being rejected outright by the girl from my high school years.  I don’t care what you say; I’m only human, and being one is entitled to have those kinds of feelings.  Maybe for you; you can easily forgive and forget, but I’m not you.

You may ask, how long will I wallow in this bitterness?

Depends, though it is not as hurtful as it was eleven years ago.  Time heals wounds.  And wounds mold your heart.  Whether it is something for the better or for worse is entirely up to you.  As for me, I think for what’s better for myself.

Second, I have a dream.  No, I’m not going to have a Martin-Luther-King-like rhetoric here.  I really do have a dream.  I wanted to become a writer, a graphic novelist in particular, and I feel that having a girlfriend right now would only weigh me down.

Now, I’m going back to the question stated above.  ‘Am I missing something in my life?’

Probably.  I don’t have a girlfriend.  But then, when I think about it, maybe I should also ask you the same question. 

Aren’t you missing something in your life as well?

The life where you can live with no worries.  Where you can sleep well into the night without someone bothering you to send him or her an SMS telling the generic ‘Good Night.  Sweet Dreams’?  A life where you can go everywhere you like with whomever without someone tagging along and turns annoying when he or she isn’t enjoying the trip?  A life where you can be on good terms with everyone because you don't have a hurtful past to go back to?

A famous quotation says, ‘You can live your life once’.  It is true.  I’m enjoying my life as it is right now, like how you enjoy yours…plus an extra baggage called boy/girlfriend.  As for me, if she would come, she would definitely come.  If not, well, it’s a ‘thank you’ still, because I’m saved from unnecessary responsibilities.

After all, I’m still alive and kicking for 22 years already…and without a girlfriend!

Decaying from Within

Rights.

We often hear, see and read that word nowadays.  Be it on television, radio, newspaper, and even on the streets you could hear people shouting 'rights here, rights there'.

Everyone wants to have and avail their rights.  And who wouldn't?

Rights equates to freedom.  Freedom to do the thing that is included in that rights.  Rights for humans to express themselves.  Rights for animals to be treated with respect.  Rights for the environment to be taken care of.  Rights of gays and lesbians to marry someone of the same gender.  Heck, with the rush of freethinking ever since it started with the Renaissance in Europe during the 16th century, everything you can think of is possible to have 'rights'...even FICTIONAL, LITERARY children have rights to be protected from the 'abuse' of real-life pedophiles!  (Hey, you may think that is stupid, but you see, it is one of the basis of the recent 'manga-ban' in Japan.)

I can't help to mutter, 'has the world gone mad?'

Order.  

Although it may seem to be like your everyday word, Order can become the exact opposite of Rights.  Why is that?  

You see, though it is intended for good, excessive implementation and adherence of Rights can lead to abuse, and the abuse of Rights brings forth Chaos.  Now Chaos and Order can be in the same room at once, isn't it?  And you can't tell me that we can discipline ourselves and self-regulate because one of Humanity's greatest failure is to control himself--history is my witness.  

Take these for examples.  

We shout 'FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION'.  In a democratic society, yes it is granted.   But then, we commit vandalism, hurt our neighbors, slander our friends...and that's 'freedom of expression?'

We claim to protect the rights of the unborn, yes.  But how about those who were already born, unable to even feed themselves once a day?  How are we protecting them?

We demand equality for everyone, but why are we immediately disappointed when someone would tell you to be quiet because it's already nighttime and your singing in the full-volume karaoke is awfully out-of-tune?

Have we forgotten that every Right is never free?  That there's the word 'RESPONSIBILITY' attached to it?

And now, some of us push for same-sex marriage, saying that it is a right, throwing the SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE and  FAMILY--THE FUNDAMENTAL RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR FREEDOM TO LOVE--OUT OF THE WINDOW!

We hide the truth of how selfish we were under the umbrella of 'Rights', disregarding that others also have rights.

Ah...if we are only to realize how to give up our rights for the rights of others--that is, RESPECT--then this world would be a much better place.

When Everything You Believed in is Betrayed

A picture of a happy family.  The feeling of security that emanates from your father and your mother’s smiles.  The warmth that engulfs you every time you arrive at the doorstep of your home.  Kindly words that would accompany the moment you open the doors, and the nice smell of the food being lovingly prepared.

Such is a distant dream.  If possible, you don’t want to wake up.  However, the moment you open your eyes—reality comes smacking in, smashing what little flicker of hope remains in your heart.

Then you realize, they’ve betrayed you.  Everything, everyone, every belief that you’re holding on to.  Broken, pulverized into pieces, thrown into the vanishing air.

It hurts so much when you see that beautiful house, those pretty ornaments by the table, this well-kept garden, your family going around, and yet there’s something that keeps you all apart.  An invisible wall, no, better be an invincible wall—because not even love, faith could broke down the differences. 

Family?  Ha!  Ha!  Is yours even worthy to be called ‘family’?  Isn’t it more proper to address you as a ‘group’?  ‘A bunch of people’?

Why do people love?  Why do they bind themselves into life-long relationships only to break apart in the end?  They claim to love everything about that person when they make their vows before the God they revere, yet when trying times come they curse their partners to their face.  They make a living proof of their romance; maybe two, three, four or more children, but those aren’t enough.  Have they forgotten their promise to accept and adapt to each other’s difference?  Their feelings before marriage must be fake then, or should we properly called ‘lust’!

They tell you their grievances, injustices made to them by their partners.  You try to understand them as much as possible; however, it all boils down to the fact that everyone is indeed selfish.  Those who are caught in the crossfire are the real victims—the children.  Those who for many damn years believed that their family is one of the best in the whole world.  Those who believed that they can boast about their mother and father’s love for each other.  Those who believed that they have a stable foundation to stand on when everything else turns against them.

They’ve destroyed a beautiful institution heaven had granted to mankind.  They’ve destroyed a young heart full of ideals.  They’ve destroyed a warm, lovely dream set in a child’s mind.  That’s how selfish those kinds of parents are.

Loving Yourself

I know.

It is sometimes embarrassing to talk with other people you don't know, or barely know.

For someone like me who filters' his friends' list on social networking sites, it is not surprising that I don't have many friends.  However, for others, their Facebook accounts maybe overflowing with 'friends' but when reality kicks in, you'd be shock to know that most of those 'friends' barely know you or worse, would throw you the 'Do-I-know-you' look when you meet them on the street.

No.  I'm not here to rant about deep relationships or something in line with that, I'm here to talk about loving yourself, as the title says.

It is easy to declare that you love yourself, in public or in private, outside or inside, whoever and whenever you please.  However what is difficult is its application--the 'action' part.  Why do I say this?  Isn't it a proof that when someone praises you for something that you've done, you would say, 'NO, IT'S UGLY' when you can always say 'Thank you for the appreciation!'?  You want to be humble, or at least appear to be one, but at the cost of bringing down yourself.

Let me tell you one thing.  When you do something with all of your knowledge, give all your efforts, and sometimes even make sacrifices, IT IS NEVER UGLY.  True, it may need improvement, but heck, everything needs improvement--even the art critics has something to criticize about famous masterpieces in the world, or else they won't be a critic!

Another is when you see some of your friends talking to a hell lot of people, jealousy kicks in.  No, not that kind of jealousy where he or she is talking with a beautiful somebody, but the type of jealousy that forms when the question of 'Why is my friend can talk to so much people easily while I am here taking forever to muster courage to even say hello to the waiter?' forms in your mind.

Do you believe that every person is an individual?  Do you believe that each and every one of us has a different personality?  Do you believe that we all have diverse backgrounds and approach to problems?

If your answer is yes to most of the questions above, then you believe that you are different from others who are also different from you and the other person next to you (if any).  Having said that, IT IS NEVER WRONG, NOR BAD TO BE DIFFERENT.  WHAT MAKES THIS WORLD INTERESTING IS THE DIFFERENCE EACH AND EVERY INDIVIDUAL HAS.

Yes we do have weaknesses, but we also have our strengths.  That sociable friend of yours and even that person sitting (or lying, or standing) next to you has his or her share of strengths where you can find help, and weaknesses where you can relate to.  So what if you're embarrassed around others?  If you can't even start a conversation with an utter stranger?  That's the way you are!  If you change yourself, it's your call.  But you're fine as you are, having been able to live from infancy to your present state as you are!  What's wrong with that?  Aren't you glad of your own uniqueness?

My point, aside from the famous beauty is in the eye of its beholder, is that no one would love yourself the most other than yourself.  In the end, you alone is the only one that would remain faithful to you.  Friends and families come and go, either by death or they leave you, but it is utterly impossible for you to leave yourself!  So go out there and start LOVING YOURSELF!

A NATION OF HYPOCRITES

First of let’s be clear about myself.  I’m a Filipino.  My parents, though my mother had a quarter of Spanish blood, are both Filipinos.  My siblings are Filipinos, too.  So therefore, you can conclude that our family is a family of Filipinos—no matter how much I speak English in this article.

With that said, have you noticed the title ‘A Nation of Hypocrites’?  Do you know this particular ‘Nation’ I’m referring to?  For those who had a hunch, you’re absolutely correct.  I’m referring about us, Filipinos.

Yes we are hypocrites.  I am a hypocrite.  You are a hypocrite.  Everyone else in our race is a hypocrite.  Why did I say so?  First off, you’re reading my article in English.  Let me tell you again, I’m a Filipino, not an Englishman or American.  Heck, even our Constitution is an evidence of us being hypocrites.  One line even states ‘THE OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF THE PHILIPPINE GOVERNMENT IS FILIPINO’.  If possible, we would kill others who speak in ‘ridiculous, error-filled grammar’ in English.  Even some universities, which are supposed to cultivate love for the nation, would penalize students who’d speak Filipino, boasting that they’re ‘English-only’ campuses.  Now how’s that for being ‘PROUD TO BE PINOY’?

Oh and not only that, there’s this issue of corruption, which is, if you listen or watch our daily news programs here you would think that this country wouldn’t live if you take it out of its government.  But hey, corruption is not only a culture in our government, it is also OUR culture.  Let me give you an example.  Picture yourself in front of a pedestrian crossing.  Now you see that the pedestrian light is red.  However, the street is clean of vehicles.  Now what do you do?  Your head would turn left and right and, seeing there’s no vehicle in sight, cross the pedestrian crossing even if the light isn’t green.  You justify your action with ‘No one’s watching’ or ‘The road is empty’, so you can go around the rules.  And now you cry ‘DOWN WITH CORRUPTION’.

Another thing is, we Filipinos like being clean.  One proof of that is we always take a bath everyday.  We clean our houses everyday.  We let loose our dogs to dump their wastes on our neighbor’s yard everyday.  We take the wrappers or plastic cups that we used and throw it either outside the jeepney window or in the sidewalk everyday.  Yes, we like being clean, and to hell with the others and the environment.  The important thing is, WE ARE CLEAN.

Watch the news and you would hear the acronym ‘KKK’, which means ‘Kaklase, Kabarilan, Kaibigan’, or to make things short, NEPOTISM.  We say that’s a big evil; we act like we’re so holy we can’t tolerate it.  But is that the truth?  When you go to the cashier to pay the things that you’re going to buy and you see your friend, what would you do?  Isn’t it you would call him or her and tell that person that he or she can go before you, this so-called ‘singit’ mentality?  Or when in other places like in abroad, isn’t it that you’re willing to give preferential treatment to your own ‘KKK’, your ‘Kapitbahay, Kapatid, Kaprobinsya’?  And yet, we shout ‘DOWN WITH NEPOTISM’.

So now, with all those things said, are you still wondering why you shouldn’t be called a hypocrite?  Do you think you have the right to act like that but the people in the government should be shot in the back?  Remember that the government is the product of its people.  And rules are rules, which can’t be broken—to break it (or go around it), look at another person’s wrong conduct, and claim that you’re the most ‘holy’, ‘intelligent’ and ‘clean’ individual in the world is stupid, ridiculous and hypocritical…which most Filipinos like you and me are.

If you’re so religious then you must remember that God’s attitude towards hypocrites is much worse than his stance towards the so-called ‘bad people’.  Funny thing is, we are a ‘proud Catholic nation’…and yet we act like the Pharisees—the very group of individuals Jesus loathed for being hypocrites.

How to Deliver a Bad News

Shoji here, just want to share you a story:

---

KUMIRIRING ang telepono nang madaling araw....

"Hello, Master Carlos? Si Arnaldo po ito, 'yung

katiwala niyo sa bahay-bakasyunan niyo."

"O, Arnaldo, ikaw pala. Ano't napatawag ka? May

problema ba?

"Um, napatawag lang po ako para abisuhan kayo na

namatay ang alaga niyong parrot."

'Yung parrot kong si Pikoy, patay? 'Yung nanalo sa

bird show?

"Opo, Master Carlos, 'yun na nga po."

"Putris ... sayang! Ang laki pa naman ng nagastos ko

sa ibong 'yon.

Hay, buhay! Teka, ano nga ba ang ikinamatay niya?"

"E, kumain po kasi ng bulok na karne...."

"Bulok na karne? At sino namang salbaheng tao ang

nagpakain sa kanya ng bulok na karne?"

"W-Wala po. Nanginain po siya ng karne ng isang patay

na kabayo."

"Patay na kabayo? Anong patay na kabayo, Arnaldo?"

"E, 'yun pung mga thoroughbred horses niyo, Sir.

Namatay po kasi lahat sila sa pagod, kahihila ng

kariton ng tubig."

"Nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait? Anong kariton ng

tubbbiiiiggggg?"

"'Yun pong pinampatay namin ng sunog."

"Diyos ko po! Anong sunog naman 'yang pinagsasasabi

mo?"

"'Yun pong halos tumupok sa bahay niyo.... Tumumba po

'yung isang nakasinding kandila, tapos nagliyab 'yung

kurtina at mabilis na kumalat ang apoy...."

"Ano? Puuut*#*@?!@.... E, may kuryente naman diyan sa

bahay-bakasyunan, a.

Para saan 'yung kandila?"

"Para sa burol po."

"Ano? Kaninong burol?

"Sa nanay n'yo po, Sir. Bigla kasi siya dumating dito

nu'ng isang gabi, walang kaabi-abiso. Lampas

hatinggabi na. Akala ko po magnanakaw. Binaril ko."

"Faith and Hope"

by: Jayne Lois R. Orlina
Model: Ysabella Apolinar

     "The possesion of Gatecrasher Family which never fades."  They come to cling on it whenever the family goes through a very hard times.  Those two words are part of the Seven Heavenly Virtues.  Faith, th e cure for the sin of Pride.  And Hope, the cure for the sin of Sloth.  Eventually, Gatecrasher Family had been tested again on how strong they hold unto there faith and hope due to the occurrence that they compel.  It was hard for them yet all of those situation were just apart of the past now. The Gatecrasher Family fought then continues to move on.

     It all started as the very first day of May come up-to-date.  Kirael was already informed for a meeting to be a staff for the Comic Con event.  He really want to push though it because he wants to become apart of the event for the Gatecrasher Family.   Suddenly, he was troubled by his financial matters so his parents wants to send him  away for a moments.  This member of the Gatecrasher Family was arranged to be thrown away by his parents so forth he will be in custody of his aunt.  I was for the good anyway for his father had been    sick by then and he was also having a trouble of applying to companies.  Kirael was worried  by then.  He simply don't know what to do.  Meanwhile, Kazuki got the news of Kirael. The problem is, he too was having a hard time by then.  Kazuki was depressed upon the last application he just had had.  In addition, he also have his problem in his house.  By then, Pureheart already perceived the situation of Kirael.  He would even want to send money for Kirael so forth it would help him.  The bad news is, Kirael have no means of meeting his fellow Gatecrasher Family.  His broke by then, no penny or even a cent.  They had gone through this situation yet this time, it's a little different.  Kirael knows that Pureheart also struggles for his own problem because he claims to have an uncertainty with his coworker.  Also, he sustains the necessity of his family.  Pureheart's uncle is sick and needs alot of medication.  He had been down for quite a while but he's one of the person who would help his Gatecrasher Family when they are in need.

      The whole Gatecrasher Family was given a small message about Kirael's situation.  Shoje  was planning for a project during that time.  It was neglected due to the family's situation.  He sent his regards and continues for his commotion.  Angel also sent his words though he tries to communicate with Kirael in any means.   Those were simple things yet it replenishes the dying Hope of Kirael.   Kazuki was inclined with the situation of Kirael.  He was very upset of what did happen to him.  Yet, as soon as he notice and got in touch with Kirael, he tries to boost up his Faith.  Honestly, Kazuki was planning to end up everything---his life, his passion, and all of the things he had worked for.  Luckily, Kirael had a small chat with Kazuki.  Part of him move Kazuki up and then Kazuki meant, "Nobody will be left behind.  If I did that to you, I have done to you what those fools had done to me."  Kazuki cares so much for the family.  He could even do more in able to secure the name of the Gatecrasher Famiy.  Kirael and Kazuki had a small similarity, both of them doesn't want there fellow Gatecrasher Family to experience the bad moments of there life.  They do what they can do in able to aid them

     Aruiko, going through his own uncertainty, still sends his remarks for Kirael.  He, too, was struggling to have a work so he keeps small thought toward his fellow Gatecrasher Family.  Aruiko is one of the toughest person inside  the family.  He also tries to move away when he has his own problem.  His fellow Gatecrasher Family tries to get in touch with him though he tries to fix it by himself.  But he knows, when he can't handle  things by his own, Aruiko has a family to run into and Gatecrasher Family will be there for him.

     Then, Kirael can face what to happen.  He only had himself by then.  If something went wrong, he will be crawling from the streets.   Nevertheless, the support from the Gatecrasher Family brings a big difference  for his Faith and Hope.  He was thinking of a way to go for the Comic Con  meeting yet it was already too late.  The  meeting had passed and he has no way to attend it because he was really broke during those time.  For a week, he was sent away  by his parents.  His  aunt took care for him yet Kirael can't do what he want to do.  His passion, to write, was just like in a cage though he struggles to continue his passion.

     He gain a small amount of money and return home.  Lucky, his parents ignores him because his father is okay right now.  Moreover, he still seek for a job just like his fellow Gatecrasher Family.  Kazuki continues his drawing career.  He even used  his experience for his work.  Pureheart  is doing well as for now.   He jokes upon this things when they got to speak of it.  Aruiko will start to work soon, lucky for him.  Shoje and Angel are still in one piece, alive, kicking, and moves on.  Satsui got her hair cut.  It looks good for her.  Recently, they are all fine. . . 

     Before Kirael went home, it was the day two of  Comic Con.  Kazuki and Pureheart tries to comfort Kirael because of what had happen.  Satsui already attended the day one of the event, even Aruiko and Shoje attended the first day so they didn't come to see Kirael as he went there.  Sincerely, Kirael would really want to give thanks for the people who accommodated Satsui in the event.  The  PaOtaku  specially Sir Hiro for taking good care of her.

     Therefore, what had happen proves something.  Money is really nothing.  It is just a tool to rise when you fall.  What really matters are the people that will support you.  Because, you may fall so many times for the lack of having money yet the people that will pick you up when your nothing is worth having a treasure forever.  Never lose Faith and Hope because this can be your strength when you lose everything. God bless and always take care guys.

©Thylyt19 3:18 pm May 12, 2011