WHY I HAVEN'T GOT A GIRLFRIEND...STILL

‘Do you already have a girlfriend?’

Ah…the classic question.  If I answered it honestly, it would be followed by:

‘Why?  Aren’t you missing something in your life?’

To be frank, I’m already 22 years on the surface of this planet and yet, I haven’t got a single girlfriend.  Not even once.  And I sure get irritated when confronted by that question.  No, not because of my ‘pathetic’ situation, but because of your pathetic way of thinking.  I’m honest with you.

Okay, go ahead and laugh.

So what?

Yes, that’s my response to your reaction.  But I can’t blame you.  After all, a healthy 22 year-old guy couldn’t live through his life without a girlfriend!  Well, if that’s what you believe, then I’m not in a position to contest that mind of yours.

But if you’re interested in a little bit of history, err…no, story, you could continue on reading my journal.  It’s a little story about myself.

It would be ridiculous if I tell you I don’t have crushes…unless, I’m a proud member of the third kind (which I would refute.  I’M A HEALTHY HETEROSEXUAL MALE, don’t ask about it later on!)  As far as I can remember, since my first grade in elementary up to second year in college, I have at least one girl that I admired.  For romance, I have two—one in high school and one in college, though the one from my high school years still linger (ouch, it hurts!) on my heart.

What turned me into a ‘pitiful’ virgin?

First thing, my bitterness.  Yeah, I admit I’m still suffering from the after-effects of being rejected outright by the girl from my high school years.  I don’t care what you say; I’m only human, and being one is entitled to have those kinds of feelings.  Maybe for you; you can easily forgive and forget, but I’m not you.

You may ask, how long will I wallow in this bitterness?

Depends, though it is not as hurtful as it was eleven years ago.  Time heals wounds.  And wounds mold your heart.  Whether it is something for the better or for worse is entirely up to you.  As for me, I think for what’s better for myself.

Second, I have a dream.  No, I’m not going to have a Martin-Luther-King-like rhetoric here.  I really do have a dream.  I wanted to become a writer, a graphic novelist in particular, and I feel that having a girlfriend right now would only weigh me down.

Now, I’m going back to the question stated above.  ‘Am I missing something in my life?’

Probably.  I don’t have a girlfriend.  But then, when I think about it, maybe I should also ask you the same question. 

Aren’t you missing something in your life as well?

The life where you can live with no worries.  Where you can sleep well into the night without someone bothering you to send him or her an SMS telling the generic ‘Good Night.  Sweet Dreams’?  A life where you can go everywhere you like with whomever without someone tagging along and turns annoying when he or she isn’t enjoying the trip?  A life where you can be on good terms with everyone because you don't have a hurtful past to go back to?

A famous quotation says, ‘You can live your life once’.  It is true.  I’m enjoying my life as it is right now, like how you enjoy yours…plus an extra baggage called boy/girlfriend.  As for me, if she would come, she would definitely come.  If not, well, it’s a ‘thank you’ still, because I’m saved from unnecessary responsibilities.

After all, I’m still alive and kicking for 22 years already…and without a girlfriend!